Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Enjoy the penises
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
