he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
