my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
