Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize