this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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