it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize