she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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