I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
