you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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