Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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