I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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