oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Who wears a wallet chain?!
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
