Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
