Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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