I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
