why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
