we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
