All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize