Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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