She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize