My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
