i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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