No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
