I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
