covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
