I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
