We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
