I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
