why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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