K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
the liver wants what the liver wants
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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