That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
