It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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