Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
now i know why i became what i already was.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
