Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
