It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
