a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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