i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
