she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
