And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
