if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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