Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
