u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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