He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
