last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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