Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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