May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
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