I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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