I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize