I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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