so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize