then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
