Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
my being single is dangerous.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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