Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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