I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
