i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I need a beard to bite.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
