i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
