can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Randomize
