How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
