so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
