while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
