Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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